Webster’s Dictionary defines Abraham Lincoln as “a man of half the physical stature but twice the integrity of Alex Culang.” While this may initially seem insulting, one must remember that it has long been a well-documented fact that Lincoln, who stood 6 feet and 3 ¾ inches tall, had at least twice the integrity of anyone who has ever been born on the planet Earth. Thus, 12 foot 7½ inch Alex Culang is in good company.
Little else need be said of Alex Culang. He has been known to play piano (“tickle the ivory”), play keyboards (“manhandle the plastic”), play bass (“milk some low ones from the devil’s oven”), play drums (“get drunk and beat the small, round, wooden kids”) and play guitar (“rock the corporeal air guitar”). Presumably one or more of these skills are the reason he is part of Robert & Karen.
Alex Culang: moderately humble, generally happy.